Jesus Liked Women

Which shouldn't be radical, but here we are

Luke 10:38-42

38 Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” 41 But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, 42 but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”

One of the most remarkable aspects of the Gospels is Jesus’s relationships with women. Not only is Jesus constantly surrounded by women, but he seemed to truly enjoy their company. Women were his friends. He liked them. He was fully himself around them.

This shouldn’t be remarkable, yet for many women, it is.

I read an essay a few months ago that I can’t stop thinking about. The Men Who Like Women and the Men Who Don’t. Yes, We Can Tell, by the feminist writer Celeste Davis. Davis isn’t talking about men’s sexual attraction to women but about the deeper question of whether men actually enjoy women as people.

Many men want women, but they don’t value them. They desire their bodies, not their minds. They pursue them when they want sex, but ignore them in every other way.

My female friends confirmed Davis’s theory with their own experiences of being spoken over or reduced to an afterthought. Some men will speak only to a woman’s husband, ignoring her entirely. Some will respond to her questions by addressing the nearest man instead.

She describes the way that in Hollywood, it’s an open secret which male celebrities “like” women, and which don’t. Tom Cruise and Mark Wahlberg? They don’t like women. Glen Powell and Paul Mescal? They like women. It stood out to me that these men who don’t like women suffer no real consequences for this. Davis writes, “the unfortunate truth is… successful men have little reason to care if they are perceived as someone who likes women. How they treat women has little to no effect on a man’s career, monetary success, popularity or reputation.” She points out that despite the public, damning way that Tom Cruise controlled and emotionally abused his three wives, he remains the highest paid actor in the world.

Men often care more about how they are perceived by other men than how they are experienced by women. That’s why mistreating women rarely costs them anything.

Davis argues that this phenomenon is predictable given how boys are socialized. From a young age, they are taught that nothing is worse than being associated with femininity. Davis writes, “The worst way to run is like a girl, the worst music is girly music, the worst things to care about are the things girls care about, the worst way to act is like a girl.” Given this relentless conditioning, why would we be surprised when men grow up and struggle to like women at all?

If this disdain for femininity is obvious in modern men, it was even more pronounced in the world Jesus lived in. In the ancient Greco-Roman and Jewish context, women were widely regarded as inferior, weak, and unworthy of serious intellectual or spiritual engagement. Men didn’t just dislike women; they actively marginalized them—legally, socially, and religiously. A woman’s testimony wasn’t even admissible in court! Some Jewish men began their daily prayers by thanking God that they were not born a Gentile, a slave, or a woman. Women’s value was primarily tied to their relationships with men—they were daughters, wives, or mothers. They were expected to serve in the background, not sit among the learned.

Christ in the House of Martha and Mary (Vermeer), 1655

Given these attitudes, we see how radical Jesus’ behavior is in this passage. Jesus enters the home of Martha and Mary. They are not objects or servants— they are his friends. John 11:5 says directly that Jesus loved them. While Martha is busy with the duties of hosting, Mary joins the men sitting at Jesus’s feet. This simple scene is astonishing in its implications. To sit at the feet of a rabbi was the posture of a disciple—and disciples were men. Women did not learn from rabbis, because what would have been the point? They would never have been allowed to become rabbis themselves. Their duty was to serve the men, to support the work of those who had access to knowledge and leadership.

Martha is frustrated and unsettled. She watches her sister cross a line, stepping into a role no woman has ever been allowed to occupy—Mary is behaving like a man! Martha expects Jesus to correct Mary—to restore the order they have always known. Patriarchy isn’t just upheld by men. Women enforce it too—sometimes against each other.

Christ in the House of Martha and Mary, Velázquez, 1618

But rather than putting Mary in her place, Jesus corrects Martha’s assumptions about what a woman’s place truly is. Jesus refuses to tell Mary to get back in the kitchen—yet the whole history of Christian masculinity seems like an exercise in ignoring his example. Jesus wants nothing to do with our gender hierarchies.

Jesus affirms Mary’s discipleship. He protects her right to sit alongside the men as an equal. The message is clear: Women belong here, among Jesus’ honored disciples. They are not just helpers; they are thinkers, seekers, and leaders.

Jesus doesn’t just break gender expectations in private homes—he does it in public, too. Nowhere is this clearer than in John 4, when he speaks with the Samaritan woman at the well—an act so shocking that even his own disciples “marveled that he was talking with a woman” (John 4:27). She is bewildered by his behavior, asking, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (John 4:9). Her astonishment makes sense—Jewish men did not speak to Samaritan women, let alone discuss theology with them. Rabbinic tradition often instructed men to avoid even speaking to women in public, including their own wives or daughters, for fear of temptation or impropriety! Jesus didn't seem to care at all about these man-made gender boundaries.

Jesus and the Samaritan Woman in a Modern Context by Eldre Delvie

Why did Jesus do this? This did nothing for Jesus. There was no personal benefit to his elevation of women. In his day, there was no social reward for treating women as equals. Even today, in our supposedly more egalitarian society, men rarely face consequences for their treatment of women.

The answer is simple: Jesus wanted women among his disciples. He liked being around them. He appreciated them as people. He believed they were just as gifted, just as Spirit-filled, just as called, and just as able to hear from God as men. He knew they brought gifts that men did not have, and that the kingdom of God would be impoverished as long as women were seen as inferior.

So, what do we take from this? If you’re a man, Jesus’ example in this passage demands deep self-reflection. Where have you allowed your socialization to override the truth that women are your equals—fully called, fully gifted, fully human in every way that you are? Jesus didn't just tolerate women. He invited them into deep conversation, into friendship, into leadership. He liked them. Do you?

Society will not penalize you for speaking over a woman, for dismissing her ideas, for reducing her to an afterthought. You can ignore women and still be respected. You can diminish them and still rise to power.

But Jesus offers you another way.

If you’re a woman, hear this clearly: You belong here. You belong in the places where truth is spoken, and where power is held. Take up space. Speak. Learn. Lead. Jesus didn’t tell Mary to get back in the kitchen—so why should you?

Of course, if you find joy in service or homemaking, that is a beautiful and meaningful contribution! But Jesus reminds us there is not only one way to be a woman: “Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” Her freedom to choose cannot be taken away from her.

To every woman who has been silenced, overlooked, or interrupted— Jesus sees you. He likes you. He sees your humanity, and calls you his friend. And no one can take that away.

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For this breath prayer, consider where you find yourself. Have you been told your place is in the background? Or perhaps, have you reinforced those boundaries for others? As you breath in Christ’s welcome, breath out the lies that say you don’t belong.

Inhale: The kingdom is mine (4 seconds)

-HOLD- (4 seconds)

Exhale: I am fully welcome here. (4 seconds)

Inhale: Jesus likes me (4 seconds)

-HOLD- (4 seconds)

Exhale: And no one can take that away. (4 seconds)